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The Process of Forgiveness

Updated: Nov 19, 2020

Are you ready to mend your broken heart?

I can clearly remember telling myself that I had forgiven an offense and actually believing that I had. I learned that just because you say, “I forgive you,” doesn’t mean you’ve actually done it. Yes, I thought I had done the work, only to find myself unable to speak the person’s name because it reminded me of the pain I was trying to avoid.

So often people struggle with forgiveness and the process of letting go, if this is you, you’re not alone. Be patient with yourself and the process. You’ll arrive at your destination with patience and diligence.

The truth is forgiveness requires letting go. This may happen in small waves over time. You may have to let go over and over again- forgiveness is a process. You have to do the work. You’ll have to do the work of agreeing and committing to letting go, and depending on how deep the wound is, this process may require long-term work. Keep committing, and keep doing it little-by-little, as you journey on the road to forgiveness.

We’re going to walk through some steps that you can take today to help you begin the process of forgiving and letting go. I’m with you. You’re not alone. You can do this whenever you’re ready.

If you’re ready, get in a quiet place and begin to see yourself holding this pain, offense, regret, or whatever is holding you back right now in your life, relationships, work, etc. The things that are keeping you from peace or that have kept you from your emotional wellness or have impacted your physical health; it’s time to consider releasing those things. I want you to understand that you have the power to be free. This won’t be easy, but it’s worth it. Remember to be gentle with yourself. You can do this.

Breathe and feel your breath inhaling and exhaling—deep belly breathing. Feel your diaphragm rising and gently falling as you breathe. Relax and get centered on letting go and forgiving. This would be a good time to start to recall the names of people, relatives, employers, ex-spouses, friends, etc. that have hurt you. You can write these out on a piece of paper or just speak the name out loud or silently to yourself. Keep in mind that you might also need to forgive yourself.

Before we go any further, you need to determine if you really want to let go of the pain, hurt, disappointment, or anger.

Steps to forgiveness:

1. Determine if you really want to let go. Deep in your heart are you tired of being stuck in the place of hurt and anger?

2. Surrender the hurt. You can visualize yourself carrying the offense and sitting it down outside of yourself. Visualize yourself removing the thorns, the pain, from your heart and dropping it in the ocean. Watch it wash away or sink to the bottom of the sea. You can do this as many times as you need to. You can say out loud, “I want to let it go.” “I need to let it go.”

3. Declare that you will keep working for your breakthrough.

4. Journal any thoughts, feelings, or emotions that you’re having.

5. Visualize your future self as free and full of joy, light and love.

6. Breathe, Relax, and let go.

Anyone who truly wants forgiveness can have it, if you commit and follow-through to do the work of letting go, no matter how long it takes. Your freedom and your new life will be well worth it. You’re worth it. Use this as your stepping stone to achieve greater life, health, emotional well-being and satisfaction. If you haven’t already, go ahead and give it a try. You’ll be glad you did. This could be your time of freedom. Get free and stay free. Breathe.

For more information on getting free from unforgiveness email us at

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